Stephanie Nilva, the executive director of Day One, a New York City-based nonprofit organization that works with youth to combat domestic violence, said in an email interview with Rewire that the risks to domestic violence survivors are multifaceted. She explained, “Domestic violence shelters and organizations rely on grants that range from thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars and more. Those grants fund counselors who support survivors suffering from trauma; offer a safe place to sleep for someone who fled a home with children; help a teenager get an order of protection against a classmate stalking them. From another angle, removing or redirecting resources that support enforcement of Title IX … places young people at extreme risk.”
“People forget that it didn’t start bad: a date, a dinner, let me get your coat and hit you in the face,” said Stephanie Nilva, who runs Day One, a group in New York City committed to preventing dating and domestic abuse. “It is good in the beginning and people love each other. Things that can become abusive can be mistaken for intense attraction and obsession.”
That early intense attraction can be a warning sign, too. When someone you’ve been dating for two weeks wants you to himself, “flattering and disturbing get mixed up,” she said.
Stephanie Nilva is an attorney and the Executive Director of Day One, an organization that partners with youth to end dating abuse and domestic violence through community education, supportive services, legal advocacy and leadership development.
PureVPN: Do you think Cyber Stalking laws are mature enough to a cover majority of these cases? Do you think the legislation and the law enforcement agencies can keep up with the fast-paced Cyber Ecosystem and Advancements?
Given the rapid rate of technological advancement, legislation can barely keep up. Most laws take several months or even a year or two to pass, whereas we see technology evolving much more quickly. New tools that can be used to harass and stalk people online are emerging every few weeks.
Most existing laws that protect against abusive tactics were passed at a time when no one could conceive of the arsenal that would be available to threaten or harm someone through various forms of technology. Day One offers support to young people experiencing abuse online by advocating with law enforcement and the court system in areas that are still unfamiliar to authorities. Police struggle to respond to allegations of online threats, and courts are accustomed to issuing “stay-away” orders that would do little in an online context.
Day One also supports legislation that would offer accountability for abusive online behavior while also being mindful of the age-appropriate behaviors that young people engage in. It would be counterproductive to criminalize the conduct of a teen who shares an intimate photograph online that is later publicized by someone with harmful intent.
Armed with the disconcerting knowledge that 5 million children witness domestic violence in this country each year and 1 in 3 teenagers in NYC reports experiencing abuse in a romantic relationship, Day One has recently procured a grant to develop an innovative new program with elementary aged students and the adults in their lives.
Through key violence prevention education and social-emotional activities, students will build essential communication and reflection skills in order to ensure they grow into successful adolescents, teenagers and young adults prepared to help build a safer, more just and equitable world. Educators, school staff and caregivers will also have access to tools and resources in order to support students’ healthy relationship and leadership abilities.
Shifting the focus of community work toward actively defining and encouraging explicit consent, and away from post-incident accountability, is a good place to start. That’s the suggestion of Andrew Sta. Ana, the director of legal services at Day One, which works with youth — offering prevention-based workshops to high schools, community organizations, and professionals who work with youth — to prevent and end intimate partner violence and sexual assault.
Stephanie Nilva, Day One's Executive Director, was quoted in this weekly advice column called Love, Lucy that is in the New School Free Press.
“Isolation is a form of abuse,” says Nilva. “It is an abusive tactic to try to reduce a partner’s support on other people in their lives, whether that’s family or friends or community groups, and without support, the less likely it is that they will try to become more safe.”
Featuring Sarina Gupta who has done some volunteer work for Day One!
In addition, Stephanie Nilva, the Executive Director of Day One, was invited to be the Co-Chair of the Prevention Committee of the Domestic Violence Task Force, which was assembled by Mayor Bill de Blasio.
Victims of domestic violence are suffering in new ways under Trump’s immigration policies.
“An abusive partner can create a narrative for a survivor: ‘No one will believe you, no one cares about you, your concerns aren’t real, you deserve what’s happening to you,’” said Andrew Sta. Ana, director of legal services at Day One NY, a nonprofit organization that works to educate young people about domestic violence and provides supportive services. These tactics are compounded for undocumented or transgender survivors of domestic violence, whose abusers can — and often do — use their marginalized identities against them. “There are a lot of stereotypes about transgender folks being deceitful, or about undocumented folks pulling one over on the rest of the system, and that’s dangerous,” Sta. Ana said. “When these powerful stereotypes are allowed to creep in, they automatically challenge the credibility of the victim, and that discourages people from seeking protection.”
On Tuesday, September 27th, Day One commemorated the achievements of our organization and the amazing young people who work with us in the effort to end intimate partner violence.
At our gala we affirmed the strength and dedication of the survivors, advocates and supporters we are proud to call allies. We honored BNY Mellon and Verizon for their advocacy and support. We had special remarks by our Honorary Benefit Chair Tamron Hall, of NBC News' 'Today' & MSNBC, and Melissa Mark-Viverito, Speaker of the New York City Council. In our Voices Against Violence, young survivors, a former intern, the Commissioner of the Mayor’s office to combat Domestic Violence, community supporters and Day One’s Board member and a Peer Leader spoke about the importance of Day One in their own lives and communities.
Executive Director Stephanie Nilva was on PIX11 Morning News with advice on how individuals can help keep themselves safe when leaving an abusive relationship. This piece aired in response to the tragic murder of 23-year-old Michelle Marks in Brooklyn last weekend. The main suspect is Marks' ex-boyfriend.
In Part 2 of this podcast, the male Movement Makers (including Day One's Supervising Attorney Andrew Sta. Ana) reflect on how the lessons they learned in South Africa impact the role of men in the movement to end domestic violence.
Male Movement Makers (including Day One's Supervising Attorney Andrew Sta. Ana) discuss the impact of visiting South Africa through Move to End Violence and what lessons we can learn about engaging men in ending gender-based violence.
Hosted by the NYPD, Day One's Staff Attorney and Statewide Trainer, Caitlin Prior, trained dozens of school safety officers on how to deal with teens who experience domestic violence.
Watch here: http://cbsloc.al/211dAoJ